Spring has come again to Vegas a little earlier than other places. Spring flowers have bloomed, honey bees are everywhere near fragrant flowers, tree trunks have gotten their colors back. I see people’s lively faces, with happiness and their lightened clothes. It is almost so overwhelming walking down the street seeing those changes. I am also excited to greet the new season of the year and of my life.
But in my routine life, nothing has changed much. School is going and is half way through now. I took several quizzes, turned in papers, am working on projects, and plus, I work and do an internship at my church. Yeah, things have been a little overwhelming and draining as I try to deal with everything in limited time frames. Sporadically, I feel I do not fit in with this lively spring season but fit in with a desert land where no life is sprung.
Don’t get me wrong. I have never felt so blessed before and I am thankful that I am living at my dream place with beautiful brothers and sisters in Jesus. And I cannot be thankful enough for the amazing opportunities I have to work and serve God. But, it is more like an old saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”. I am tired of my busy life and everything other than my duties seem exciting and fun and productive.
Frankly speaking, I have a satisfaction issue. I guess I choose not to be satisfied. Even though I work on my duties, I still worry about not getting them done. Because of that, I actually missed out on appreciating God’s awesome work in nature. However, I mustn’t have forgot what Jesus told us in Luke and what Paul said in 2Corinthians:
“Then He said to His disciples, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. “Life is more than food, the body is more than clothing. “Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds?” (Luke 12:22-24)
“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2Corinthians 12:9-10)
I am no longer exhausted because of my works or worries and I'm not letting the routine of life take away my satisfaction. What’s incredible is that I see my grass green since remembering of God's grace and strength. I don't have to worry anymore. I definitely feel like a honey bee who is so excited to get closer to Jesus Christ.