Patience has been a big lesson during the last six months. I have two small children, and they require a lot of attention. I gave myself a year-long break from life just so I could be with the baby—and maybe get over the sleep deprivation. After this break, I returned back to being a part of ministry in the church. This was the plan I had with my second daughter, and when the time to return came around, I was excited to get back into ministry and begin serving again. But God had other plans. The next few months, our family faced intense spiritual warfare, and for the longest time I didn’t recognize that it was a transitional season in our family’s lives. It was a way for God to say to me: “Hey, when storms hit you, you don’t rely on me, and I need you to change your perspective.”
The storms lasted four months. A huge part of those storms was that I kept having panic attacks. It was all very bizarre. I’ve gone through transitional periods before, but nothing like that. It taught me, though, about God’s faithfulness to stay with me, to wait for me to figure out how to ask for His help. I had to sit through some storms and analyze what I would need ask for. I had to question myself: “If there’s one thing I need from God to get me through this, what would it be?” One day I would ask for His wisdom, and then I would feel shaken again and would ask for His strength. It was all God teaching me how to rely on Him daily. Now that I’m not in it, I can see how it prepared me for where I’m at right now. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
I’m in a new business adventure—super fun!—that has me inside strangers’ homes and outside of my comfort zone. It’s allowed me to work much more with unbelievers and to share the gospel; something that God really impressed upon my heart during those rough months. That season of storms was not fun—it was awful! But if God hadn’t prepared me the way He had, I would be on much shakier ground now, like the foolish man that built his house on the sand. I learned that every minute that I’m not fully relying on God is another moment that I am much more prone to falling into temptation and to sin.