I have heard it said that you shouldn't ask God for two things; faith and patience. This is because for both of these characteristics of a person to grow, you have to be placed in situations where they are pushed to their limits. Lately I have been feeling convicted about the amount of faith that I have in most situations. I am good at putting up a facade by make exclamations of faith, but in my heart I can feel anxiety and fear push out the peace and joy that faith brings. Because of this, I have reluctantly, hesitantly been asking God for more faith and while it hasn't been easy, I am so thankful that I did.
I have struggled with fear and anxiety for most of my life; starting when I was a teenager. Whenever I would be faced with a trial or stressful situation, my reaction in the flesh is to analyze the threat from every angle possible and determine all of the possible outcomes. This would quickly spiral out of control until I was left with a list of the most horrible “what ifs?” I could come up with. This continued for a good part of my life until I met the Lord and starting studying His word. It was only then that I realized that this spiral I had been experiencing was something I was choosing. I was choosing to handle situations under my own strength instead of choosing to have faith in God’s provision.
As I have walked with the Lord the past years, I have found it easier to choose faith, but have found that I am not consistent in choosing faith. I would read verses like Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
Since I have been asking for faith, God has put me into situations where my only option is to trust that He will come through. It has definitely challenged me, but I wouldn’t trade it because the more I have trusted God in these situations, the more he has grown my faith. That has been my realization through this whole process: we must be pushed out of our comfort zone on a regular basis to effectively continue to grow our faith.
Once I accepted that I will regularly and continually be pushed out of my comfort zone, it became much easier to just trust the Lord through those seasons. I no longer see trials as catastrophic, but as little pushes from the Lord outside of my comfort zone to develop my character. Each time realizing a new area that I can stop trying to provide for myself and have faith that the Lord will provide in my weakness.