This year, my husband started praying for more faith, and when I found out, I couldn’t believe it. That meant the Lord might put us into situations where we’d have to be mature enough to have that extra measure of faith, and I was praying, “Lord, please don’t do that to me!” We were obviously conflicted. Ultimately, though, I knew faith was something we should pray for.
I’ve never had a terminal illness like cancer or anything, but I’ve consistently had health problems since I was a teenager, whether it was illness or injury. When we were growing up, it seemed like I was always the one that was in the hospital, or needing to go to this doctor or that doctor. Before I was a Christian, I used to ask my aunt, the spiritual counsellor of my life, “Why is God doing this to me? I have three siblings, why does this only happen to me?”
Now I’m a believer and God has taken me so far in being content with my body. At least, I think I’m content--that whatever happens, happens--but when something happens out of the blue, I still ask “What’s up Lord? Why would You do this to me?” Now there’s new stuff, but I believe the Lord is using this to grow my faith. On a daily basis He is showing me He can give me a different measure of faith.
James 1:2-3 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” I know that whatever it is that’s happening to me—whether it’s nothing, or something I have to deal with it for the rest of my life—I know it’s in His plan for something good. So it doesn’t matter if it ends up being some rare disease that there’s no treatment for; it doesn’t matter, because whatever I go through, the Lord is going to be there. It might mean I’m going to get to witness to people I would have never met if I didn’t have something wrong with me. We don’t know what the Lord is going to do, but I know in some way it’s going to be used for good.