Callous Confidence
Anonymous - May 2, 2020

“For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you’” (Isaiah 41:13).

I think stating that the last few weeks, even months, have been less than convenient would be an understatment. Coronavirus has caused a great deal of pain, discomfort, and anxiety—and I believe that is the least of what can be said for it. That said, in the early days of the virus, when information was at its most uncertain, I could not help but look about and wonder at the fear I saw in the world around me. It was only later that I realized why. I can’t say that I’ve heard from the Lord many times in my life, but I there was a word that I received in my heart from Him last year and the year before; simply put, that this would be a year in which He would bless me, and answer a very particular prayer that I have been asking for a very long time. Knowing that the Lord had good plans for me, that He was going to bless me, made me confident during the first dark days of the lockdown—perhaps overly confident.

I walked tall, and while I exercised caution, I was never worried about getting sick. I knew that only one of two things would happen: I would either not contract the virus, or I would recover if I did. It was the only thing that made sense to me, after all, the Lord had good plans for me. That said, I was worried about spreading the disease, so I maintained social distancing and washed my hands on a frequent basis. Over time, however, I saw the worry on others and how it weighed them down, including other believers, and that’s when I realized that my confidence was outside the norm. It was only then that I realized why I was in a unique situation: not everyone received this message from the Lord.

As time passed, people in my social circles lost people they loved, and that’s when I truly grasped the extent of my confidence, and perhaps the callousness that I had been feeling because of it. Not everyone sails through every storm, and sometimes the Lord calls people home when we’re not ready for it. The storm of coronavirus will come to pass, but it will take with it many. Some may have been confident like me, many more will have been scared and uncertain about their future, not just their future on this earth, but their future in eternity. My heart, while not worried, has grown a sense of compassion for those that are frightened of the unknown future ahead of them, and similarly, it’s important that our hearts remain soft for those who lack the eternal security that we can sometimes take for granted.